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Name: Jarrod
Country: United States
State: Kentucky
Metro: Lexington
Birthday: 11/29/1988
Gender: Male


Interests: alexisonfire, amber pacific, atreyu, cauterize, flaming shit bombs, guitars, hawthorne heights, hxc dancing, lesbian midgets, mp3s, outdoor bathrooms, piercings, playing bass, slow motion mosh pits, straight edge, unearth.
Occupation: Student


Message: message me
AIM: xshrinkrapx
MSN: jarrod_may@hotmail.com
ICQ: 192-682-953


Member Since: 3/24/2005

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Sunday, March 26, 2006

Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours,
In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step that you took was the worst.
Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,
And I still have these memories,
But will never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, Cause that's all you can do.
We'll never make another memory,
We'll never make another memory.
I wish i would have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real,
You said they were,
What happened?
You were a priority,
Was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough.
So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember these things i've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess i've learned from it.
But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn't end this way,
Cause i'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?


Thursday, March 09, 2006

-quod me nutrit me destruit-

its latin.

check it out if you're that curious.

jarrod


Sunday, March 05, 2006

ok. i should think that it is time to update, although there is nothing to update on.

so i will leave you with this.

 

"put on a coat tonight darling.
the air outside is as cold as your heart."

 

-jarrod-


Tuesday, February 14, 2006

heres something for valentines day.....

it seems you want blood
well you bought a front row seat to my execution
i hope you enjoy the show
because you put me here the moment you said goodbye
your love is the poison coursing through my veins

with everytime you gazed into my eyes
and uttered such meaningless words
each time set me up for a harder fall

clawing at the insides of my heart
is the love that shot me down
the last time you saw me breathing
i stood on my knees
in a plea for mercy
i begged for one last taste of your poison on my lips

with everytime you gazed into my eyes
and uttered such meaningless words
each time set me up for a harder fall

with perfect love and trust
gone up in flames
scarred by the cuts
from all your games
now say goodbye
and forget my name
now say goodbye and forget my name

enough said.


Sunday, January 22, 2006

"the last request" (this is my short story. i thought some people might enjoy reading it)

            Slowing to a stop, Justin panted heavily. Dusk was falling and he still found himself in complete disbelief.  He sluggishly moved closer to the brick wall and fell to the ground.  There beside him lay a broken mirror, and through it he saw his own tired and wearisome reflection staring back at him.  Was this what he had been reduced to? A mere shadow of his former self?  Pondering deeply, he wondered how such turmoil had came to pass in such little time, how had his perfect life, full of joy, had began to fade away, and then it came to him.

 

            He awoke with a start, and rolled over only to see his alarm clock staring back at him.  It had come to a stop.  Quickly, he rushed out of bed, knowing he must be late.  As he went through the house he failed to notice that all of his clocks had stopped, and that his parents were nowhere to be found.  Nothing seemed truly out of place, nor did anything seem right either. 

Still pulling on his shirt as he approached the door, he thought he saw someone out of the corner of his eye.  Although this made him feel quite uneasy, he shook it off and continued to make his way out the door.

The sky outside was dark and grey, as though it were an oncoming storm of melancholy.  Slowly, he made his way to his car, still feeling quite nervous.  He had the strange feeling in the back of his mind that he was being followed, by someone or something. 

Despite his uneasiness, he started his car, but then he noticed another thing that startled him; his clock was blinking.  Quickly, he shot a glance to his watch; it had also stopped.  What could be going on here?  Why were all the clocks stopped?  A thousand questions flooded Justin’s mind, but in an attempt to hide from the awful truth, he tried to keep his mind occupied elsewhere, but he couldn’t do that for long.  He made his way down the street and as a he passed, he glanced up at the clock tower; it too, had stopped.

As he drove, his cell phone began to ring, and his girlfriend’s name showed up on the screen.  In a hurry to hear a voice of reason, and comfort, he quickly scrambled to answer the phone.  He picked it up, but all that was heard from the other end were muffled sobs, and then they were gone.  The call had ended and what had started as a prayer for hope, had now became a thought of torment.  His heart raced, and his head filled with ideas.  Worst case scenarios bounced around in Justin’s mind, and he knew he had to go check on her.

Pressing the accelerator, he turned around and made his way to Krystal’s house.  He knew something had to be horribly wrong, but what on earth could it be?  Finding out what was going on would be the only thing that could settle his mind, and he was still shaking as he pulled into her driveway.

He made his way to her doorway, still expecting the worst.  Noticing the door looked just as if it had been forced open; he pushed his way through carefully.  It felt as though his heart was about to burst out of his chest, and he couldn’t keep his mind off what he would find behind this door.

Making his way through the house, he called, “Krystal?” in a shaky voice.  No answer.  Tears began to fill his eyes and his stomach churned.  He cautiously scanned the surroundings, nothing appeared to be bothered, but then he heard the same muffled sobbing that he had heard on the phone pouring out of her bedroom.

Tip-toeing towards the door, sweat dripped from his brow.  Never before in his life had he felt so nervous, and he despised this feeling that filled his body.  Taking a deep breath, he grasped the door handle.  He paused, still contemplating on the person crying behind the door.  Justin turned the knob with the utmost care, and there she sat, sobbing into her pillow.

“What’s wrong?” he asked with a small quiver in his voice.

Still sobbing loudly into her pillow, she seemed to be trying to string words together to tell him something.  She sputtered and choked over her tears, and they glistened as they ran down her beautiful face.  All he could make out were the words, “I’m sorry.”

Very confused, he asked her again, “What’s wrong?”

This time she didn’t reply with words, but only pointed.  Her finger led to a knife that stuck out of the wall.  The blade of the knife glistened, and the elaborately carved handle bore the word “Love” cut deep into the wood.  A note was pinned to the wall by the knife, and it read, “Choose the one who loves you most.”

Now in awe, thoughts raced through Justin’s brain.  They stood in silence for what felt like an eternity, but finally, she spoke, “I’m sorry.  I can’t do this anymore.  I feel like I’m living a lie.  I love someone else.”

The tears fell heavily from his eyes, and like glass, they shattered on the ground.  He raced for the door, and started his car.  Barely able to see through the tears, he drove away from her house as quickly as he could.  What had just happened?  All that they had was so perfect, so much like a dream.  Then a thought occurred to him, just like a dream, it had to come to an end.

Then an impossibility transpired; he looked into his rear view mirror and saw himself sitting in the back seat.  He let out a scream and swerved across the road.  Double checking the mirror, he still saw himself sitting in the back seat, and then a smile spread across the face of his “other self”.  He slammed on his brakes and skidded into the guard rail.  Scrambling out of the car, he panted heavily.  Then, just as calmly as ever, his “other self” left the vehicle. 

“Hello, Justin.” the man said.

Quivering insanely, he replied, “W-w-who are you?”

“I’m you, Justin.” He laughed.

“But I don’t understand. Why…how…what are you doing here?” Justin inquired.

“To save you, Justin.  To save you from YOURself.” Now, the man began to progress on Justin, and he drew a knife from behind his back.  The blade of the knife glistened, and the elaborately carved handle bore the word “Love” cut deep into the wood, it was the same knife that had pinned the note to Krystal’s wall.

Upon catching glimpse of the knife, Justin took off at a sprint, with his “other self” right at his heels.  He kept running at top speed, dodging down various back streets, trying to avoid the man who was chasing him. 

Finally, after running for what seemed like forever, he thought he had lost him.  He slowed to a stop, and panted heavily. Dusk was falling and he still found himself in complete disbelief.  He sluggishly moved closer to the brick wall and fell to the ground.  There beside him lay a broken mirror, and through it he saw his own tired and wearisome reflection staring back at him.  Was this what he had been reduced to? A mere shadow of his former self?  Pondering deeply, he wonder how such turmoil had came to pass in such little time, how had his perfect life, full of joy, had began to fade away.  As he continued to gaze into the mirror, he finally saw a second reflection of himself slide into the picture.

 

Krystal walked down the dark alleyway, and a cold sense of uneasiness washed over her.  Then, a horrific sight caught her eye; Justin lay there, face down, in the middle of the street.  As she approached she noticed a knife sticking out of his back, the blade shimmered, and the elaborately carved handle bore the word “Love” cut deep into the wood, it was the same knife that had pinned the note to her wall.  In the same way that it had pinned a note to her wall, it pinned a note to his back.  It read, “My love for you was the poison coursing through my veins.  Now, my sweet, grant me one last request and pull your knife behind my back.”

With tears in her eyes, she caressed his head, and kissed him upon the cheek, staining his face with red lipstick.  Now, she could see, she put him there the moment she said goodbye.

 



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